by Best-Of-Q-A
I have realized I am "love-shy". Can this be cured?
March 8, 2010 in Questions & Answers by Best-Of-Q-A
I was online today researching shyness and I discovered that the definition of Love Shy fits me almost exact. I feel like since I am turning 24 soon my life is going by and I still havent found a girl yet. But the worst part is that I fear I never will because of my shyness. Its so hard for me to initiate something with an attractive girl. I physically have nothing to be shy about, im told I look like a model and a movie star, and I work out. I guess I felt that working out hard would attract girls to me since Im shy. I get alot of looks but no moves. I really need guidance. Women, what would you think of a guy in my shoes? I have the look, but not the extroverted personality to get me what I want. Are women good at recognizing a guy like me and trying to open them up? I am hoping that will happen to me in the future. I am trying, I have gone on a first date this year and asked a girl out randomly, it didnt work but I tried. I just cant seem to keep these actions consistent. What would be the best way to get a girl to be comfortable around me and want her to stick around?
if you are really as hot as you say you are….or as people tell you, you should have no problems with getting a date, unless you are a complete freakshow of a person. like, your personality would have to be so unbearable that no one could stand you. i would say that about 75 percent of girls are shy about asking a guy out and the other 25 would just go right for it. thats how i am with guys, if i see a hot guy that i want i just go up and talk to him. i dont know what you’re doing wrong here. i wish i could tell you. but like i said…if you are really attractive, your personality must be bad or something, because there is nothing better than a shy, modest, hot guy.
just make a good girls friend,,hang outs to them until some one crashes u ,,it is not only for the physical appearance how do u look like a movie star ur not hamble hehe,,but also ur inner part how u are in real inside,,the beautiful inside attitude can help most,,f u r gentleman to the one u like,then u get her attention already f u apply it to her,,not only for looks,,u dont express by words but u express it by doing something good can help u feel good.
just be urself,,have a good self-confidence to do so,,gudlak and godbless
All I can tell you is that I understand what you’re going through. I really empathise with what you’re saying and through my own personal experience I can only tell you this.
What you and I have is a problem, not a social trait or personality, but a mental block/problem. If it was part of who we are we wouldn’t feel its an obstacle in the way of us. And no amount of looks or working out will change that. Its just compensation.
If you were a girl would you be interested in a guy who was an emotionally dependant project just because he was good looking? Unfortunately the dominant male cliché is a very natural human trait.
So my advice to you is to seek help from happy relaxed men. Look for friends don’t struggle with this and talk to them about it. This is the dominant male cliché that doesn’t hold water in real life. Good male friends can be very empathetic and determinedly helpful. By spending time with such people they’re confidence will rub off on you. It’s natural and happens all the time with body gestures, speech patterns and perspectives. You and I have something to learn and something to fix. Time and age don’t seem to do it but other people can be great catalysts and enablers, so find them.
Do it now, I bet procrastination is your worst enemy, the most important thing I’ve learned so far is to learn to act on things instantaneously, be confident in your decisions, even if they’re wrong next time you’ll know better. Talk to confident guys, see a psychiatrist once or twice to help determine the root of all this and they’ll help you solve it. The bottom line is I’m not saying to change who you are, you’re grand, its about making yourself better. But act, don’t wait. Act now.
Best of luck
A similar stranger